[The answer isn't what she wants to hear. She wants it to be easier, to be something that she can easily understand... because isn't it supposed to be that way? In the breeding stables, there had been no friendships to form her opinion of such relationships. The Armless were broken in spirit and in body, and became almost like dumb beasts themselves, horses that had once been people who bent to the will of human masters and then stood in the corners of their stalls alone. The armed yearlings were played against one another as soon as they were old enough to understand what failure meant, striving to be recognized as the strongest, the fastest, the most loyal and worth purchase by the most noble lord...

All she'd had, if she cared to acknowledge that it had influenced her, were the ballads and epics her master had liked to hear over his banquets and dinners. The vibrato-laced sing-song voice of lute players extolling the unbreakable bonds of the Soga brothers, the unquestionable obedience and strength of Minamoto no Yoritomo's four bosom lieutenants, the unassailable camaraderie of Prince Genji and To no Chujo, who remained friends despite everything in their lives that sought to pit them against each other-

It's not real. It's not anything like the friendships she is being offered in this place, with imperfect people who vex her and befriend her enemies and betray her trust and admit that they would kill her and don't support her in her revenge.]

I do not ask for lies or for obedience-

[Did she not? It wasn't that she did not wish to hear their truths, she did not think she closed her ears to their voices.]

I ask for-

[Her arms had spread as if to invite derision or disdain, but now she feels so exposed, as if she is inviting the other woman to just stab at her heart or take her accursed shard. How many times has she fantasized about that- ?]

I ask for loyalty. Why is that so difficult- ?

[If she was worth caring about, if she could believe that she really was cared for... how did one believe such a thing without loyalty? Was it not just words, with no action, no weight? Was it not the same as forsaking her, even if they stayed physically close and claimed to still care? Her expression twists with the mix of confusion and anger, despair and genuine lack of understanding, struggling to... she just- She just wants it to make sense.]

What are we to do with care, Akua?

["We". Were they not cut from a similar cloth? Did Akua have the answers? Even though she hated so much how the other woman tried to dissuade her from revenge, she was the one who had... had betrayed her least. She was saying so many things now, and they sound all well and good, but when it wasn't just "mistakes"...]

Are we to go to the tailors and... and purchase clothing? Are we to... to dine together? To... to talk and walk in the streets?

[Things she saw people in Springstar do... ? Outside of standing together in battle, she...

Her arms fall back to her side in something like defeat.]