[He doesn't have to say anything for his emotions to communicate the answer. There is a clear sense of approaching doom, even as he tries to stand and fight. In the lodestone's cavern, he cradles his shard between his hands, staring at the water above with a sense of suffocating melancholy.]
When I was... destroyed, and naught but my shard remained... the beast's presence lingered. I could feel it tear against my spirit, each wave of its power threatening to scour what remained of me, leaving me hollow.
When I was reborn, I had the chance to regain myself. But now... 'tis worse than ever before. I reach for what I have lost and find it beyond my grasp.
[Every time he'd raised his fears, Himeka and Abel had assured him there was hope, that he wouldn't have to face it alone. Yet now, with his outlook worse than ever, they will not answer his calls.
Maybe that's why he finds himself telling Hayame, despite everything.]
I... felt its anger towards those that had only tried to save me. If it has caused them harm because of my weakness... I...
[Ryunosuke had survived its screams, but what of those that were not present to fight at all? Could it have been harsher to them, for their absence?]
[Melancholy is familiar. That... That she understands. The rest, perhaps, no... But like his "friends", can she encourage him to think of the best outcome? She opens her mouth, far away... and nothing comes out.
Who is she to say there's hope?]
Is there no one amongst the Pleroma who can cleanse it from you? That Tehri woman has been in this place for years, has she not?
[He understands the feeling - he, too, grates against the idea of providing unreasonable hopes. Unless he really believes it's possible, it's just a lie, isn't it? He's not even really expecting anything from her, when it comes down to it.
But the fact that she seems to be trying... well...]
Tehri... she had not seen the like before. She said that an Aion's essence tended to return to itself with time. It seemed true enough before. Mayhap it still is...
[But if the creature just keeps attacking him, and it gets worse every time, what is he supposed to do? That isn't a question for Hayame though.]
...If you would... let me know when you have returned to Greentruth.
[... Of course. Of course he has already sought that woman's counsel, it's the sensible thing to have done.
She almost tries to suggest something else, like... looking for an exorcist, kidnapping a Kenoma to interrogate to see what the Regent knew about such things... But they stick in her throat.
[He's surprised at the question, considering its source. In the end, however, it provides a fragile comfort that he hadn't expected. He hadn't started this conversation looking for solace, but it seems he finds it anyway.]
I will. At least... for a time.
[Though he knows if the worst really has happened, he won't be able to stay idle for long.]
...Until my hunt begins anew. The Kenoma... will be made to answer.
[The people who have been taken are not her friends. Hayame does not think she has ever had such a thing, and she has never… she had never wanted such a thing, because all it brought was weakness, especially in a time like this. They are not even her allies… for all she found herself in the Pleroma, it was no enthusiastic dedication to cause. The whoremonger had insulted her, and then he’d had the gall to offer her his hand. The healer woman had forced her to be healthy again when all she’d wanted to do was die.]
… I am not… well.
[But she has… debts. It is the debts, surely, that make her say these things, even though she hates to admit to weakness, to accidentally allow the throbbing ache of a cracked shoulder, the burn of a dislocated lower one forced to continue bearing weight, and the cuts and pierces of a blade through muscle and hide to peek through. But despite those untreated wounds, and no healer woman about even if she did muster the shamelessness to ask for help, despite all that-]
When I am worthy of standing beside in battle once more… you have my bow.
[His interest piques when she says she's not well. He's sort of figured she might have seen some battle damage, fighting as boldly as he knew she did, but that she'd admit it instead of brushing it off... he's relieved, at least. He wouldn't want her to keep trying to fight while injured.
'You have my bow.'
It's almost uncanny how similar it is to the things he's said to his friends. It's the one sure way he knows to offer his affection to others - to offer his prowess to them, to fight at their side. It's the one thing he's always been suited for.
He doesn't know if she feels the same, or how deep the sentiment really is. It makes him wonder, though.]
...Then I wish you your rest. And to fight by your side again soon.
[Even knowing- Or, no, perhaps that's the problem. She didn't know anything in this place, and almost every time she's started to feel confident that she understood the nature of things, that perhaps she'd put a tiny scrap of hope in the right person... She's been proven wrong, or she had failed.
So maybe she doesn't know that he means well, to wish her rest. Her instinct is to chafe, to take back what she's just said, to insist she was hale and ready to fight, and that he insulted her with those kind seeming words.
If she were resting, while he was out doing that they had discussed in that alley... Making enough of a name for themselves through deeds violent and valorous to draw out the Regent or at least his lieutenants... She would hate that. To finally collapse, alone in the misty forest camp she called "home", curling in tight and waiting for her body to heal... She would hate that, too.]
...
[Somewhere on the sea, between Venera and Godsblood... Hayame bites the inside of her cheek. It's hard to say two simple words of gratitude rather than dwell in bitterness and the shame of failure. "Thank you". She tries, maybe the attempt comes through the Firebrand, but-]
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no subject
When I was... destroyed, and naught but my shard remained... the beast's presence lingered. I could feel it tear against my spirit, each wave of its power threatening to scour what remained of me, leaving me hollow.
When I was reborn, I had the chance to regain myself. But now... 'tis worse than ever before. I reach for what I have lost and find it beyond my grasp.
[Every time he'd raised his fears, Himeka and Abel had assured him there was hope, that he wouldn't have to face it alone. Yet now, with his outlook worse than ever, they will not answer his calls.
Maybe that's why he finds himself telling Hayame, despite everything.]
I... felt its anger towards those that had only tried to save me. If it has caused them harm because of my weakness... I...
[Ryunosuke had survived its screams, but what of those that were not present to fight at all? Could it have been harsher to them, for their absence?]
no subject
Who is she to say there's hope?]
Is there no one amongst the Pleroma who can cleanse it from you? That Tehri woman has been in this place for years, has she not?
[It's all she has.]
no subject
But the fact that she seems to be trying... well...]
Tehri... she had not seen the like before. She said that an Aion's essence tended to return to itself with time. It seemed true enough before. Mayhap it still is...
[But if the creature just keeps attacking him, and it gets worse every time, what is he supposed to do? That isn't a question for Hayame though.]
...If you would... let me know when you have returned to Greentruth.
[He would feel a bit more at ease, at any rate.]
no subject
She almost tries to suggest something else, like... looking for an exorcist, kidnapping a Kenoma to interrogate to see what the Regent knew about such things... But they stick in her throat.
She will tell him when she returns, but...]
Will you also be there?
no subject
I will. At least... for a time.
[Though he knows if the worst really has happened, he won't be able to stay idle for long.]
...Until my hunt begins anew. The Kenoma... will be made to answer.
no subject
… I am not… well.
[But she has… debts. It is the debts, surely, that make her say these things, even though she hates to admit to weakness, to accidentally allow the throbbing ache of a cracked shoulder, the burn of a dislocated lower one forced to continue bearing weight, and the cuts and pierces of a blade through muscle and hide to peek through. But despite those untreated wounds, and no healer woman about even if she did muster the shamelessness to ask for help, despite all that-]
When I am worthy of standing beside in battle once more… you have my bow.
[- what else was there left but the hunt?]
no subject
'You have my bow.'
It's almost uncanny how similar it is to the things he's said to his friends. It's the one sure way he knows to offer his affection to others - to offer his prowess to them, to fight at their side. It's the one thing he's always been suited for.
He doesn't know if she feels the same, or how deep the sentiment really is. It makes him wonder, though.]
...Then I wish you your rest. And to fight by your side again soon.
no subject
So maybe she doesn't know that he means well, to wish her rest. Her instinct is to chafe, to take back what she's just said, to insist she was hale and ready to fight, and that he insulted her with those kind seeming words.
If she were resting, while he was out doing that they had discussed in that alley... Making enough of a name for themselves through deeds violent and valorous to draw out the Regent or at least his lieutenants... She would hate that. To finally collapse, alone in the misty forest camp she called "home", curling in tight and waiting for her body to heal... She would hate that, too.]
...
[Somewhere on the sea, between Venera and Godsblood... Hayame bites the inside of her cheek. It's hard to say two simple words of gratitude rather than dwell in bitterness and the shame of failure. "Thank you". She tries, maybe the attempt comes through the Firebrand, but-]
Ahhh.
[She fails.]