[ She does not wish to drop it, but she understands that Hayame is a stubborn woman, one who does not so easily give in, and she can only allow her to slap her hand away, violently and with a burst of energy that belies her despair. Akua wants to reach out, and soothe it from her, because she is so angry, and she knows what that path looks like. Gods Below, did she know. She knows what it is to be alone, to look upon others with disdain for what they cannot offer. She knows what it is to be so lonely, and what it looks like to be faced with friendship, once one has denied it for so long.
Oh, she had hated Catherine, for making her experience it. For seeing what she could have had, and what she had been denied. For exposing it to her.
She had left, afterward. She had stepped away, and betrayed Catherine soon after. She had loathed her, felt it deep in her soul, how much she hated and loved her for that. How much it had changed her. How much stepping into Praes and seeing how Dread Empress Malicia had warped the people had changed. How walking among them had felt so close to doing the right thing, and yet --
And yet she had never heard --
Hayame's stomach, the loud rumble broke her hesitation, and her lips quirked, slightly. ]
Hayame, how long has it been, since you have eaten?
[How pathetic it is, to be glad to be interrupted by her gut.
But she is, and she will have to live with knowing that. The embarrassment of how loud the rumble was is easier to swallow than her frustration over attempting to understand the word "friendship", over her inability to finish trying to banish Akua from her stall. She should do it... But if she did, then she will be alone again, with just herself and the crushing sense of defeat that came from having killed and hunted for an Oracle that still fell to the hands of the enemy despite her efforts.
Was it more pathetic to take that way out, or... ?]
... Some time.
[Despite the fact that their shard-based bodies didn't require food in the same way that a mortal body was supposed to, she still tended to eat normally, steadfastly refusing to accept their circumstances. She just...
She presses her forehead harder into the knuckles serving as a buffer between her face and the harsh wood of the stall walls, unable to believe that she was even about to suggest it, that it could fix anything, or at least serve as some way to end it...]
[ Akua, by contrast, only eats when she feels like it. As a shard-bearer, she knows she can eschew more sleep and more food, than she could before, and she had never been the type to over-indulge. Plus, she'd been a shade for years, and could not eat at all during that time. It was easier, a habit that she did not break, when she had been revived, simply eating only when necessary.
It had not helped, the guilt she felt then.
Even now, she does not heavily indulge. ]
Moderately so. Would you like to find something? I know of a stand that has fine fruits nearby. they even have oranges.
[ She would give Hayame the space, to think on what she said. She only hoped that it would lead to her learning to... bend more. When the situation required. ]
[Despite how much she ate... Hayame never did quite overindulge- though it likely looked that way to others. She had a half ton body to fuel after all, and it took a lot of food to do that. At least, it was supposed to. And she hated to be reminded that their existences had somehow been reduced to just gems embedded in their bodies...
So she ate. And she slept. And she...]
... You will have to educate me on these... "oranges".
[- Takes the escape from more talk on the nature of friendship. Later, alone in the dark, she will think more on what Akua has said.
But she doesn't want to be alone in the dark yet. Not again.]
[Hayame did not like when her ignorance was pointed out, even in passing or jest. Her first instinct is to frown and say something cutting or dismissive, anything to obfuscate that she might be looking stupid... But she swallows it. She doesn't..
She's tired. She doesn't want to argue anymore. Not with one of the few people who professed to accept her, to care for her, even if she was still wrestling with the definition of friendship she had always understood being... so far from what she had. After a moment of hesitation...
Hayame takes Akua's hand, a hint of something awkward and ruddy on her cheeks.]
... I know the color.
[But the food? She doesn't have the slightest idea what to imagine. Except maybe what shade it is.]
[ Akua does not want to shame Hayame, but instead, she wants to share this with her. She does not know which worlds had them, and which did not. They are here, so surely they must be rather common. Though... she knows they require particular environments. Heat, and lots of water. Something not common in Praes, but something that Wolof had in droves. They used it for export and for food for their own people, but it would never be enough for the rest of Praes. It is why the country resorts to... other measures. Like Human Sacrifice. To affect the weather. ]
They are a fruit, and they burst when you eat them. They are both a sweet and sour citrus. You will find them pleasing, I hope.
[Hayame does not know it, but the land she hails from does have citrus fruits. Small things, a bit more bitter than these oranges, sometimes unpalatable unless reduced in cooking or used sparingly for juice, in the southern islands... But she has never been there, and the closest she has come to going there was the year the Shimazu clan sent a buyer to Exhibition Day. The Shimazu were known for sacrificing jinba by the droves to win battles... and so she had never wanted to go south.
She will never taste a fruit like that in her own world.
So here... While she is here and Akua is saying they are good...]
I like fruit as much as the next person...
[She concedes. And she follows to where the oranges are.]
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no subject
Oh, she had hated Catherine, for making her experience it. For seeing what she could have had, and what she had been denied. For exposing it to her.
She had left, afterward. She had stepped away, and betrayed Catherine soon after. She had loathed her, felt it deep in her soul, how much she hated and loved her for that. How much it had changed her. How much stepping into Praes and seeing how Dread Empress Malicia had warped the people had changed. How walking among them had felt so close to doing the right thing, and yet --
And yet she had never heard --
Hayame's stomach, the loud rumble broke her hesitation, and her lips quirked, slightly. ]
Hayame, how long has it been, since you have eaten?
no subject
But she is, and she will have to live with knowing that. The embarrassment of how loud the rumble was is easier to swallow than her frustration over attempting to understand the word "friendship", over her inability to finish trying to banish Akua from her stall. She should do it... But if she did, then she will be alone again, with just herself and the crushing sense of defeat that came from having killed and hunted for an Oracle that still fell to the hands of the enemy despite her efforts.
Was it more pathetic to take that way out, or... ?]
... Some time.
[Despite the fact that their shard-based bodies didn't require food in the same way that a mortal body was supposed to, she still tended to eat normally, steadfastly refusing to accept their circumstances. She just...
She presses her forehead harder into the knuckles serving as a buffer between her face and the harsh wood of the stall walls, unable to believe that she was even about to suggest it, that it could fix anything, or at least serve as some way to end it...]
- Are you hungry?
no subject
It had not helped, the guilt she felt then.
Even now, she does not heavily indulge. ]
Moderately so. Would you like to find something? I know of a stand that has fine fruits nearby. they even have oranges.
[ She would give Hayame the space, to think on what she said. She only hoped that it would lead to her learning to... bend more. When the situation required. ]
no subject
So she ate. And she slept. And she...]
... You will have to educate me on these... "oranges".
[- Takes the escape from more talk on the nature of friendship. Later, alone in the dark, she will think more on what Akua has said.
But she doesn't want to be alone in the dark yet. Not again.]
no subject
Oh Hayame.
You have never had one?
[ She held out her hand, an offer to take it, to lead her outward. ]
Well, now we must have one! We grew them where I am from, we are famous for them!
[ Along with betrayal. And beings some of the baddest bitches out there. ]
no subject
She's tired. She doesn't want to argue anymore. Not with one of the few people who professed to accept her, to care for her, even if she was still wrestling with the definition of friendship she had always understood being... so far from what she had. After a moment of hesitation...
Hayame takes Akua's hand, a hint of something awkward and ruddy on her cheeks.]
... I know the color.
[But the food? She doesn't have the slightest idea what to imagine. Except maybe what shade it is.]
no subject
[ Akua does not want to shame Hayame, but instead, she wants to share this with her. She does not know which worlds had them, and which did not. They are here, so surely they must be rather common. Though... she knows they require particular environments. Heat, and lots of water. Something not common in Praes, but something that Wolof had in droves. They used it for export and for food for their own people, but it would never be enough for the rest of Praes. It is why the country resorts to... other measures. Like Human Sacrifice. To affect the weather. ]
They are a fruit, and they burst when you eat them. They are both a sweet and sour citrus. You will find them pleasing, I hope.
no subject
She will never taste a fruit like that in her own world.
So here... While she is here and Akua is saying they are good...]
I like fruit as much as the next person...
[She concedes. And she follows to where the oranges are.]